It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
