Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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