So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
two words...techno handjob
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
