I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize