i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
ugly people sure do ruin things
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
