glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
