Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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