she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
