Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
