Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize