Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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