Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
