1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize