I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize