It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
