Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
