Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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