yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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