I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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