Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
