It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
