Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
