puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I would fuck him just for his dog
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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