It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
