i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
