You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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