So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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