Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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