he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize