She is in my trunk
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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