I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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