Tell her she can't have a vagina
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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