Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
