im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize