I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
