he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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