I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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