I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
