The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize