well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I love you.
Bad choice
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
