she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
