can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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