bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
