...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize