I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
