If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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