I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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