I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
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I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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