WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
