i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
