I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
