so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize