Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Randomize
