My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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