plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i think im in europe. pls send help
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
