My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
