So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
