talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
