What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
