My sheets look like a crime scene.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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