gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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