Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
