Christians are straight up FREAKS
Someone shit on the floor
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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