I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
