I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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